The Power of a Pause: The Mental Health Benefits of Taking a Day Off for Busy Mums

Do You Ever Take a Break?

Do you ever feel that you just desperately need a break - a genuine physical and mental rest?

And do you ever actually allow yourself to take that break? Despite knowing how important it is, I generally don’t until I’m at breaking point. However, it's something I'm trying to improve at and a couple of weeks after sharing my post about Why parents and Carers Need Breaks, I found myself actually taking my own advice.

It was completely unplanned but I’m so glad I was prompted to have a rest. Two weeks later, I still find myself reflecting on the mental health benefits of taking a day off as a busy mum.

I had a pretty busy day planned on this dreary Sunday morning. But that changed when I found that a technical issue had taken my website offline, slaying all my blog related plans. After the initial panic and frustration I accepted that there was nothing I could do about it that day and I took this technical pause as a cue to have a little pause myself.

For most of us, especially with children in the mix, life is busy in a fairly relentless sort of way. It was only when I took this little pause that I realised how much additional - and often unnecessary - extra strain I put on myself. 

So that Sunday morning I decided I was having a day off from everything. Before going any further, I have to acknowledge my husband’s part in this. He fully supported and encouraged me to give myself this rest day which meant additional responsibilities for him. And I’m so grateful to him for it.

Always Someone Waiting

I don’t know about you but in my house it feels like there is always someone (this includes the furry someone) waiting for me to do something: to get out for the dog walk; to give them a lift somewhere; to get a food shop in; to cook dinner; to sort laundry; to order something….the list goes on. Even the dishwasher likes to beep at me when it needs to be emptied! It’s a constant tug of guilt about not having met all of my responsibilities yet. I’m more than happy to do all of these things. In fact I feel privileged as a stay at home mum to be here to do all these things for my family. 

But occasionally, it starts to feel a little oppressive. I find myself longing to just have a leisurely morning shower without feeling guilty that Toby dog is waiting to get out on his walk and do his “business”. And some days I’m engrossed in working on a blog post but even if I’m mid-flow, I need to put it aside to cook dinner. That’s life, and I’m okay with it — but every now and then, I just need everything to pause.

Looking After My Mental Health

In the past I’ve been my own worst enemy, trying to keep going even though I could feel I was spiralling towards burnout or an anxiety spike. But lately, I’ve come to recognise that listening to those signals is an essential part of protecting my mental health. Giving myself permission to pause, even briefly, is no longer just a luxury; it’s a form of self-care and emotional maintenance I genuinely need.

These days, I finally seem to be getting better at not just recognising but actually acting on the signs that my mental health needs to be prioritised.

While I do get some breaks every so often in the form of time away from home (my little jaunts down to London and my recent Montenegro trip), I’m terrible at having a break at home - just a rest, time doing...not very much at all.

I shared with you earlier in the year how Miranda Hart’s book, “ I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest With You” stopped me in my tracks with the realisation that I really needed to slow myself down (not something my PE teachers would ever have said!). You can read about that lesson here:

Living More Gently

Well, my attempt to slow down and “live more gently” is still very much a work in progress! That book is often in the back of my mind as I rush around, vaguely aware of that unpleasant tightness in my chest. I’ve also discovered a lovely blog called Our Little House in the Country which has helped me to explore daily gentle ways to slow down and ease some of the pressure I feel. I’ve decided it’s time to take this seriously - I don’t think my chest should feel as tight as it does most days.

Saying No!

We all know that it can be hard to say no, it can feel almost too selfish, or even defiant. But some of the things I said no to on this sacred day off were things I don’t even consider choices or decisions - they’re just habits but I now realise that I needed a break from some of these habits. Each of them, although they’re generally “good habits” add just a little bit more pressure to my days.

Did One Day Off Really Benefit My Mental Health?

I think the fact that I’m smiling as I reflect on this day suggests that it did indeed make a difference, not just to my schedule but to my mental and emotional state. I felt physically and emotionally more relaxed and less anxious. It reminded me how much pressure I self inflict every day, and how restorative even a short mental break can be.

I can’t tell you how freeing it felt to make myself a lunch without scanning or entering all the nutritional information to ensure I was getting enough protein, fruit and veg. And to not have my watch nudge me to move every hour or the pressure to close the movement, calorie and exercise rings by the end of the day was a nice break. These things are brilliant tools in trying to stay healthy but there’s no denying the one day release from them was a real treat. 

Going for a watch free walk was a particular highlight - not only was it liberating, it made me realise how preoccupied I usually am on walks with trying to hit a certain distance or pace. Since then I’ve made a concerted effort to be more present on my walks: when Toby stops to sniff, instead of marching on the spot (yes, I do that in public my local community!), I allow myself to just stand, look around and enjoy watching my daft pup exploring the world (or another dog’s pee.)

The Power of the Pause

I’m a terrible culprit for trying to schedule every hour of every day but that one unplanned day of rest has made me reflect on a term I heard this week (on a podcast of course!): “The Power of the Pause”. I proved to myself, without having had any intention to prove anything, that taking a pause in life can be beneficial. While it sounds like the opposite of making progress, that pause I allowed myself to take actually enabled me to recharge and put me in a position to make more progress than I probably would have otherwise.

My “day off” helped me to recognise some of the things which are preventing me from living more gently as I’ve been aiming to do (but not really succeeding). It’s not going to change the habits of a lifetime but, although I’ve resumed my watch wearing and food tracking most days, I’ve realised that not hitting every target every single day is not the disaster I had convinced myself it was! It sounds such a small thing but it really has lowered my stress levels by helping me to be more realistic about what I can achieve in a day.

Reset

That beautifully slow Sunday wasn’t just an indulgence. It was a reset I badly needed. I realise now how often I ignore the emotional exhaustion that builds from invisible daily pressures. I have no doubt that future resets will be required but for now, I’m still feeling the benefits of this one.

Since then, I’ve been mindful of Miranda’s pottering advice and have tried to include just a little bit of pottering time into my days. I’ve focused on doing one small job at a time to enhance cozy little areas because I actually really enjoyed curling up and relaxing with a TV show in my living room.  

On the days that it hasn’t rained, I’ve moved my pottering out into the garden, planting flowers and slowly working away at making it feel like a special place for the summer . I’ve even given myself permission to enjoy sitting on the garden sofa even though the decking still badly needs to be painted this year. I would never have allowed myself to do this previously - all garden jobs had to be completed before I would be able to enjoy just sitting in the garden.

When Is Your Day Off?

I’m genuinely curious -  if I were to order you to take a day off from everything, how would you feel? Would you be delighted and embrace the chance for some time to rest? Or would you feel panicked at the thought of dropping some of those spinning plates?

When I shared my day off on social media, people applauded me for doing it, told me I deserved it and some said that it was what they should be doing. Well, here’s the thing: You deserve it too. We should all be giving ourselves permission to stop, or at least slow down, even if it is only occasionally. And if you know someone who you think could do with a day (or even a couple of hours) off, feel free to send them this article as a gentle nudge.

Sometimes slowing down can be the most powerful move we make. Go on, you know you want to……