Three Years On: My Life After Teaching

Should I Write This Post?

I’d been swithering about writing an update post to mark three years since I left the classroom. (You can read about my reasons for leaving in this blog post.) I wasn’t sure what I would say: three years on, I don't have an inspirational conclusion to share with you, I haven’t established a new career, made loads of (or any!) money and I haven’t found all the answers to life.

Then I listened to a podcast where another teacher shared his story of leaving. It was so relatable - the anxiety, feeling trapped, his experience of bullying. A lot of what he spoke about didn’t just resonate with me, it took me right back to some times that I prefer not to dwell on too much.

However, the relatability stopped when this former teacher shared his pride in owning a £90k car and earning a six figure salary. When we’re feeling desperate these inspirational tales are probably exactly what we want to hear  - they help us to believe that we too can escape and find a new career, a new life even and everything will be alright. They give us hope.

So I’m not knocking these success stories, I’m happy that it’s worked out for people. I just feel that there is also a place for stories like mine - the people who have made the escape but are still working things out. It may be less inspiring but it’s real.

Why I’m Sharing My Unfinished Story

For those whose goal is to make a fortune or travel the world - that is what you must keep aiming for. But for some people, the change they need is less sensational. They simply want to feel happier or more fulfilled - to live a life that is true to them - and that can look so different to each of us.

With this article my wish is that I can give hope and reassurance to people who are in a similar position to me. I can’t give you a roadmap to build your own business and make your fortune but I’ll share the honest reality of my life after teaching, including the challenges, as well as how it has allowed me to focus on making a life I actually want. 

People’s Perceptions

I find it fascinating when people share their perceptions of my life.  A relative recently recounted how they had been talking to another teacher who is desperate to leave but worried about finances. My relative tried to reassure her by sharing my experience and added that “Katie’s always in London”. It’s nice that this relative sees things as having worked out for me but there’s a lot more to the full story of my life after teaching. And it’s so interwoven with my son’s story.

Most people don’t see how, despite not going out to work, I’m exhausted most of the time, stressed quite a lot of the time and these trips to London (which I’m so lucky to get) are my respite.

So rather than a fairytale ending, here’s my honest account of where I am three years later…

The Messy Middle

The messy middle, that period of trying to figure out how to move forward, is often talked about in the podcasts I listen to. I’ve never really heard anyone define how long this period is expected to last though. Although I’m three years into this little reinvention journey of mine, I’m still very much navigating the messy middle. When I left my job, I knew I was beginning a new chapter in my life but I don’t think I anticipated still working through the same chapter three years later.

That’s alright though - the messy middle is a million times easier than the seemingly “sorted” life I was living before. Sometimes, it even feels quite exciting while on other days I wonder if I’ll ever get to the stage others reach. There are days where I feel compelled to try to plan for the future, to feel safe, and days where I think being here in the messy middle is a privilege and an opportunity and I’m just going to see where it takes me! 

Making It Work Financially

It’s what everyone wonders about isn’t it? How can someone financially survive without a job? After three years, the first year of which I did receive some sick pay, I still haven’t replaced my teaching salary. This means that my family now lives on my husband’s salary with a little top up of carer’s benefits. 

This is the first time I’ve written about receiving benefits and if I’m honest, I don’t love sharing that sort of information. There is stigma attached to benefits. But it’s so important to me that other people in my situation know that there can be some financial support available to them. In my experience, this is not well advertised. I hadn’t thought that we would be entitled to any financial support and had Tourette Scotland not been supporting us, I may still not have known this. So, if your financial circumstances change, it’s worth looking into whether you are entitled to any government support. I don’t see this as a long term financial plan but it’s been a huge help this last couple of years.

That said, as a family, we have still had to adjust to a significantly reduced income. That’s pretty scary and weighs on my mind more than I would like. BUT any time I’ve spent worrying about finances has been far less mentally damaging than time I spent worrying about school. 

My solution has been to embrace frugal living. The advice I found before I left my job was to work out my bottom line - the very minimum income I needed to sustain my current life. I have to admit that when I did those calculations I didn’t really expect to still be working with my bottom line figure three years later but here we are - I’m making it work.

Life On A Smaller Budget

Sometimes it feels like a bit a stretch to get to the next pay day and I do wish we had more savings. I have to spend quite  a lot of time keeping on top of our finances and trying to balance spending, saving and quality of life. I think most people I know have to do this though, I see it as part of life, part of looking after a family and running a home.

With our daughter about to start university our smaller budget is about to be well and truly put to the test! If I was still teaching, this would be a far less daunting thought but still, none of us regret the loss of that salary.

Being a Stay At Home Mum

I love being a stay at home mum. It’s not an easy gig at times but it’s been a very long time since I’ve felt this sort of contentment - the feeling that I’m doing the thing I’m meant to be doing. Instead of worrying about pleasing an employer, everything I do now is for myself and the people I love.

Me being at home has also allowed my husband the flexibility to move to a new role, something that just would never have worked logistically for our family when I worked.

Supporting My Son Through Burnout

As some of you already know, my son's autistic burnout coincided with my departure from teaching. That quickly took over life and my attention was diverted to supporting my son so in some ways I didn’t really have to face the reality of my own employment situation. 

Precious Time with My Daughter

As well as being here to support my son through autistic burnout, I’ve loved spending more time with my daughter during her final three years at school. I’ve been able to be there for every school event, to support her through exams and help her to learn to drive. All of that has been priceless and I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to have this time as a stay at home mum.

Processing The Past

Being a teacher was a huge part of my life and just because it’s over, I haven’t forgotten the things I once enjoyed about the vocation.  When I speak to my teacher friends, especially those in the early years sector, I’m still interested to hear about their work. I have loved hearing from old colleagues and some parents of former pupils since I started my blog and I still carry some very fond memories of my teaching days.

However, I suspect there will always be surprising triggers to take me back to some of my toughest moments in teaching. For the first year, I felt sick to the pit of my stomach every time I walked past a primary school. I could often see into classrooms and I was bad at allowing myself to be transported down some dark memory lanes. Today I can walk past these schools without feeling the anxiety rising.

Some innocent photocopiers at a university open day caught me off guard just last month, reminding me of the time my colleague found me in tears in the photocopier room because I felt so overwhelmed. Some days it can still be hard not to dwell on those moments.

I can hear the sadness and bitterness that some ex teachers carry and I’m grateful to have moved beyond that stage (maybe I am making progress through the messy middle afterall?).

No Regrets

While I hold some happy memories, there has never been a single second where I’ve regretted leaving teaching. Not one second. 

I think you’ll understand why if I tell you the single biggest change that I’ve noticed. In start contrast to my teaching days, when I am living my life now - whether I’m at home with my family or on foreign adventures - I am present. I notice it and my family notice it. I can live in the moment and actually enjoy life’s precious moments. I couldn’t do that before. And life is too short to live like that.

Am I A Failure?

For the first 12-18 months away from teaching, the feeling of being a failure was hard to shake. Teaching is a demanding and stressful job yet plenty of my friends and colleagues were managing to stick at it. Why couldn’t I?

It took a lot of talking with a counsellor and with the people who know me best to accept that I am who I am. Rather than change myself, I can see now that changing my environment was the right move. I've also redefined what success means to me.

Sometimes, I wonder what life would be like now if Jamie hadn’t needed me to be at home with him. What sort of job would I have looked for? What would I be doing now? Would I maybe even have considered trying to go back to teaching in some form? Who knows!

For now, I’m still too focussed on supporting my son to be able to think about finding success in another type of job. However, I don’t currently feel that I need it, or that it’s something lacking in my life. Right now, the success I’m working for is supporting my family and making a happy and fulfilling life for us all. 

Building a Life That Works for Us

The first year away from work carried a lot of uncertainty. It comprised of sick leave and then a career break until my husband and I made the decision that there was no way I could go back. Those early months after resigning honestly felt like I’d won the lottery - a strange thing to say given that we had less money than before! After years of dreading most days, I found myself out walking my dog when I “should have” been at work. 

My relative was right when she said I’ve become a fairly frequent visitor to London. I’ve also visited other countries and made some very special memories. I never thought that I would be able to not work and still have such opportunities. It’s all done on a tight budget but that doesn’t take any of the excitement or joy away from my little adventures.

Another thing I never thought I’d find myself doing was having time to learn and to explore possible income streams for the time when I am able to get back to some form of work. But here I am playing about with a blog, learning to build websites and share my story with all of you.

Perhaps the most impactful benefit, other than being here for my family, has been the gift of time; time to focus on my mental health as well as physical health. I don’t think I appreciated how much time these things actually require. I don’t take for granted how fortunate I am to have the time to dedicate to my health: to be able to spend time learning about nutrition and meal planning, to be able to have long walks every day.

Looking Ahead

"Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty." Tim Ferris

I’ve always hated uncertainty and never coped very well with it. Yet uncertainty has become a constant feature in my life. And having experienced both, I’ve learned that I’d much rather face uncertainty than unhappiness. 

I’ve made my peace with the fact that I can’t plan too far ahead and the time I’ve had away from the working world has allowed me to realise that I’m not scared of working - I just need to find the right job for me when the time is right for me and my family. I know I’m lucky to have this time to consider different options.

So no, this isn’t the story of a dramatic reinvention. But it is one of peace, purpose, and the courage it takes to keep going -  even when you don’t actually know where you’re going.

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If you’re in the position I was in three years ago, you might find some of these resources helpful:

The Pit Pony Podcast - hosted by the founders of The Life After Teaching Facebook group, interviewing teachers who have left the profession

Life After Teaching: Exit The Classroom and Thrive - Private Facebook group sharing support and advice for teachers who want to

Postcards From Midlife Podcast - Interview with career coach Rachel Schofield

Benefits Calculator - links to independent calculators to estimate whether you may be entitled to government support (UK only)