Dog of My Dreams: The Benefits of a Family Dog

“Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had.”  Thom Jones

The Dog of My Dreams

“I have a dream.”

One of the most famous quotes of all time. It’s a favourite in our house because I too had a dream. And it resulted in the arrival of Toby, the adorable fifth member of our family.

Before Toby, there was Daisy - the dog of my dreams. Literally. Daisy came bounding towards me in a dream - a dream I still remember in vivid detail. She was a fluffy Saint Bernard puppy lolloping around our garden as the kids watched and giggled at her antics. I was watching the scene from the kitchen, slightly confused as to how Daisy had come to be with us. But there she was. There was no one to give her back to and I knew that, although there would be some obstacles, we would just make it work.

So when I woke up that morning I announced to James, “I think we should get a dog!” It was as simple as that. James was on board straight away. Far from a spur of the moment decision, this was something we had been considering for many months. But the sensible, cautious parts of our brains kept putting up blocks. 

Should we, shouldn’t we?

Whether to add a dog, or any pet, to the family is a huge decision. I recall walking home from school with the kids one afternoon. They were begging (once again) for a dog. The words coming out of my mouth were the standard reasoning why we couldn't. But in my head and my heart I was wrestling with the memory of my own childhood longing for a dog. Now I was the grown up and I actually could get a dog if I wanted. I was allowed! Yet I found myself explaining to kids all the challenges that would come with becoming a dog family; the expense of food and vet bills, the time commitment for daily walks, a dogsitter for holidays... I remember thinking, “This is how it feels to have your heart strings tugged”. My head and my heart were definitely not in agreement and James was having the same battle with himself. Until Daisy woke us up. 

Completing our Family

After a few months of research, litter hunting and planning, we brought our 10 week old golden Labrador home. Our Toby Dog. It proved to be the best decision we have ever made. Having never owned a dog before I was unprepared for the love I would have for this fluffy bundle. Despite my immediate love for him, we did have to have some words during the puppy months when Toby and I were negotiating our places in the pack and I briefly experienced the puppy blues which I had never even heard of before. This didn’t last and now, as we celebrate Toby’s 9th birthday, I want to dedicate a blog to him by telling you about all that he has done to enrich our lives.

Special Relationships

Toby has a unique relationship with each of us. James is dad, the boss who takes him up hills for adventures and rolls about on the floor playing with him. Vaila is the big sister he idolises. Since we brought him home, Toby has liked to sit on Vaila’s knee and he’s continued to do this even though he’s now a very large dog. Every day when she arrives home from school, the reunion ends with Vaila sitting on the floor and Toby sitting on her knees. Jamie is the one Toby likes to look after. They can often be found cuddled up together watching T.V. Toby used to love going to school to collect Jamie and would stand, ears pricked, watching for his human to walk through the doors. And me? I’m his mum, the one who takes him for his walks and the soft touch he knows will get him whatever he wants as soon as he gazes at me with those big brown eyes. 

Therapy Pet

When Toby joined us, Jamie did not have an autism diagnosis but he was a very anxious wee boy and once they had bonded, we became aware of the comfort he found in his dog. To this day, I don’t think Jamie is happier than when he’s snuggled up on the sofa with Toby, stroking those soft, soft ears.

In more recent years there have been some suggestions that Toby could train as a therapy dog to offer support to Jamie outside the house. Labradors are commonly used as service or therapy dogs due to their gentle temperament, intelligence and high trainability. However, as a family we all agreed that Toby is probably a bit old and set in his ways (some may say obstinate!) to appreciate the training involved. Although he doesn't have the certificate that would allow him to visit “human only” places, he is very much a therapy pet for Jamie.

Walking Buddy

Come sunshine, rain, wind or snow, Toby needs his exercise - and he needs to do his “doings”. This means that every single day I get out and walk which we all know is a good thing for health and fitness. I love my walks with Toby, seeing the world through his eyes and having time to think and listen to my podcasts.

I admit that sometimes the Scottish weather makes it less than appealing to go walking and then come home with a wet, filthy dog but that is the commitment we made when we decided to get a dog. And Toby doesn't care what the weather does, he's always excited to get out.

Dr Toby

Several studies have shown dogs to be empathetic creatures who can tell if people are stressed or ill. The first time Jamie was off school with a bug I was astounded at how perceptive Toby was. He clearly knew that his little human was unwell and he took up his position at Jamie’s side for the day. Over the years, whenever any of us has been ill, injured or upset, this sensitive soul has been able to sense it and has stayed by the side of whoever is in need of his comfort and companionship.

Giver of Positive Endorphins

Have you ever watched a dog playing? Or sleeping? Or digging? Or bounding up a hill to greet their human? It pretty much guarantees the release of positive endorphins. Right now, Toby is on the sofa beside me, snoring away, and I can’t help but smile every time I look at him. Every time one of us arrives home, our boy is at the door waiting to welcome us as though we’ve been away for weeks. How could that not make us feel happy and loved?!

Teaching responsibility

Being guardian to an animal is a great way to educate children about responsibility. Our kids know that Toby relies on us to feed him, keep him safe, healthy and happy. Developmental psychologist Dr. Gail F. Melson explains "When children are responsible for pets, they learn the value of tending to another's needs, which helps them grow into compassionate and dependable adults." 

Community

Just as having children can bring an invitation into a whole new community, we experienced the same when we got our dog. Toby has integrated himself and us into the local dog walking community. He was something of a celebrity at the school gates and it’s rare that we’ll go for a walk without bumping into a doggy pal and their human. It's an honour to be known as "Toby's human".

Pampered Pooch

There’s no denying our Toby dog is a pooch of the pampered variety! Not only is he allowed on the sofa - he has a favourite spot and when he wants up he places his chin on the sofa as a signal to us that it’s time to rearrange the cushions just the way he likes them.

At bedtime, it’s a race to get into bed before Toby does because, even in a huge bed, he likes to take up more than his fair share of the bed.

Although he’s a big dog, he’s not the bravest boy. So it has been known for James to have to carry him over scary bridges and up steep stairs and for us to cross roads because Toby never forgets where he was accosted by a mean cat.

A Dream Come True

Just as I learned from Daisy in that dream back in 2015, the obstacles of owning a dog are, and have been for us, surmountable. Having Toby has limited some of the things we’ve been able to do and where we’ve been able to go. The (luckily not too frequent) middle of the night walks to relieve an upset tummy aren't my favourite thing, doggy vomit is gross and he does have a tendency to forget to wipe his muddy paws.

But I can say without a shadow of doubt that he’s worth any sacrifices we may have made. He has enriched our lives with so much love and joy and I know that bringing him into our home and our family was absolutely the right decision for us. 

Love

Above all, having a dog in our family has meant love and as far as I’m concerned, love is the most important thing in the world.  We all love Toby, in a way I didn’t know was possible to love an animal, and he loves us. Unconditionally. 

If you're considering adding a dog to your family, I hope this has helped to give you some idea of the responsibility involved as well as the enormous benefits they can bring to your life. If you're already a pet owner, I'd love to hear what your furry friend has changed your life in the comments.

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