How to Cope With Sleep Deprivation: Beyond Sleep Hygiene

Beyond Sleep Hygiene

I had really (really, really!) wanted to go for a long walk on the beach this afternoon. I knew I was going to be able to take some time for myself for a few hours and the noisy waves and smooth sand were calling. But I had to be sensible and accept that, after a particularly hectic couple of weeks and yet another rough night, I was too tired to safely drive to a beach. 

Sleep, or the lack of it, is a constant struggle for me and I know I’m not alone in this. So I want to share my take on how to get through the days when achieving the coveted 7-9 hours sleep is outwith your control. 

While I recognise and appreciate the medical advice of professionals, I promise I won’t preach about good sleep hygiene, routines and recommended bedtime rituals. I’m sure you’ll have heard it before (If not, check out Sleep Action for information and sleep support). 

But let’s have a little reality check for those of us for whom the advice often just doesn’t help; the parents of babies and young children, caregivers and shift workers to mention but a few. Despite it being such an important factor in our health, there are many people who do not have the luxury of a full night’s sleep. So today, let’s not focus on unattainable sleep goals but instead focus on getting by with the sleep or rest we can realistically carve into our nights (or days).

Why Sleep Is Essential For Health

The NHS website informs us that we need sleep “to rest and repair our mind and body. It's vital for good physical and mental health and wellbeing.”

Getting enough sleep supports our immune system, weight management and can reduce chances of illness such as heart disease and diabetes. In addition to this, it can have a hugely beneficial impact on our mental health and cognitive abilities. Probably not what you want to hear when you know you don’t get enough sleep.

Some people simply can’t get a full 8 hours, whether due to problems with their own sleep, caring for a child with sleep difficulties, working shifts, or other responsibilities. Mental Health UK reports that almost 1 in 5 adults in the UK do not get enough sleep.

The Impact of Sleep Deprivation

I can understand why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. It’s a horrible feeling and an unpleasant way to have to get through the day. 

It stands to reason that all the areas of health which benefit from sleep suffer as a result of a lack of sleep. When we’re tired and run down our immune system is required to work much harder to protect us. Mental health can be hugely affected, leading to increased anxiety, low mood and exhaustion.

As for having full use of our cognitive functions, sleep deprivation can attack this as well. I can vouch for tiredness affecting my memory, concentration and ability to make decisions. I’m increasingly forgetting what I was saying halfway through a sentence and my kids are well used to me having to pause mid sentence for a yawn. Today, the lack of sleep has prevented me from doing what I wanted to do because I knew I would be unsafe to drive. It’s a reminder that, try as I might to power through, a lack of sleep really can have a detrimental effect on my life.

Common Sleep Disruptors

In my case, current disruptors include a neurodivergent teen with severe sleep issues, my own brain which struggles to switch off and often an ageing dog with a gurgly tummy who either requires breakfast at 6am or a comfort walk even earlier. At 43, I grudgingly accept that perimenopause could also be a factor—but that’s a topic for another post!

Sleep evaded me in previous years because of anxiety and worries about work. These are both common sleep thieves among the population, along with worries about finances.

For the last couple of decades I’ve survived the nights by doing what so many of us do in the bedroom that we’re all told not to: phone time. Anyone who has discussed sleep with a medical professional with regards to yourself or perhaps your child is probably cringing here. We all know we shouldn’t but most of us do! 

The blue light emitted by phones decreases our natural melatonin production and taking in the content on our phones makes it harder to switch off and be able to sleep. Yet, according to a YouGov survey, around 74% of adults in UK (I’m one of them) take their phones to bed. I think there’s a whole other discussion to be had around our addiction to our mobiles but for now, I’ll just admit that I find comfort in using it to relax when I get into bed. I very rarely have the attention span to read a book and going to bed and letting my thoughts run wild is an unappealing alternative to the phone. In an attempt to be good (or at least, better) I now limit the length of time I use my phone when I go to bed and often put a podcast on to help me drift off to sleep. (Don’t ask me about phone use when I'm awake in the wee small hours - one step at a time!)

Emotional Toll of Sleep Struggles

Physical tiredness is no fun but it’s the emotional toll that has pushed me to try to improve my sleep (even if that doesn't mean aiming for 8 hours at night). It’s when I’m short on sleep that anxiety is more prone to take hold and I’m keen to take any action I can to avoid that!

Tiredness is also what sends me reaching for the sugar. I've never been a coffee drinker but chocolate is what I crave when I’m really tired. 

It's not that I'm OK with the fact that I don't get enough sleep but I do believe that sometimes we have to accept what we cannot change and focus on what we can change so I've tried to find ways to cope with sleep deprivation.

How to Cope With Sleep Deprivation

I’ve come to the conclusion that the key is to maximise the rest you can get rather than striving for an unrealistic “perfect” sleep schedule. While classic sleep hygiene advice doesn’t always help, some small adjustments can make a difference. If, like me, there are factors outwith your control affecting the amount of sleep you get, there could be some tactics to make life a bit easier. I’ve learned that making some changes to my routines can help me to get by on less sleep.

• NAP

This has always seemed like a dreadful waste of daytime to me. I like to be productive and fill my days with activities. However, for now, tiredness has trumped that and I often doze off on the sofa while watching a movie with my son. I'm trying to think of my naps as a means of enabling greater productivity later in the day.

• GO TO BED EARLY

Since mum duties tend to be required later in the night, I’ve finally learned to be sensible enough to go to bed early. I’m often the first in the house to head to bed so that I can get some sleep before getting woken.

• MAKE YOUR BEDROOM A SANCTUARY

This is so important to me that it features on this year’s vision board. When my bedroom is a clean, tidy, relaxing place to be I know that even if I’m not sleeping I can at least try to rest in a calming environment.

• DON’T MEASURE SLEEP OR GET HUNG UP ON THE 8 HOUR TARGET

I don’t need a watch or an app to tell me how disrupted my sleep is, I’m well aware thanks! Once I’ve been woken I find it very hard to get back to sleep. I used to lie awake feeling stressed about how long it was until my alarm was due to go off, worrying about how I was going to get through the day on so little sleep. Now, I’ve learned to accept that I’ll get what I get and can adapt the day to accommodate the worst nights.

• PRIORITISE WHAT YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO ON SLEEPY DAYS

There are some days where I have to give in to tiredness (like today) and change my plans. When planning my day I now highlight the priorities for that day and prioritise them. As someone who loves that smug feeling of ticking off everything on my To Do list, this has taken some time to accept. I try to see it as being kind to myself, a bit of self-compassion.

The reality, however, is that sometimes we can't ditch plans to make the day easier after a night lacking sleep. Most people have caring responsibilities, jobs and other commitments. On these days, which I know many of you experience, I'm afraid I haven't found a solution other than to accept the tiredness, be a bit kinder to myself and look forward to the end of the day!

• REST

This is something I really wasn't good at and to be honest, I still struggle. I constantly feel the need to be productive. But I’m gradually learning to pace myself which I know will improve productivity. Rest might mean wholesome breathing exercises, reading or mindfulness. Or it could mean watching TV or scrolling on your phone. Try to find something which can help you to feel relaxed even if only for a few minutes.

Small Steps

I know that reading this blog post will not have fixed any sleep issues you may have. In particular, if you’re a parent like me who knows that lack of sleep is adversely impacting your life, I hope that you have taken from it one message: 

Be kind to yourself. Not being in a position to get 8 hours of beauty sleep does not make you a failure. The likelihood is that you are doing so many other amazing things, in difficult circumstances, for the people you love. You’re only human. But hopefully you can take one small step tonight to allow yourself 5 minutes extra rest.

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