Budget Travel to Montenegro: A Self-Care Break for Tired Parents

Stoliv, Montenegro

Time for a Break

If you’re a parent or carer, you’ve probably had moments where you dream of running away - just for a weekend, or maybe even just an hour. Not to escape your family, but to return to yourself. That’s what this trip to Montenegro became for me.

In my last post, I explored why taking breaks is essential for those of us caring for others. This time, I want to share how stepping away - in this case, to the beautiful landscapes of Montenegro with my friend Lianne - helped me to reset.

Why Montenegro?

Lianne and I have started taking a foreign break together each May. Having explored stunning Lake Como in Italy last year, as soon as we returned home I was on the lookout for ideas for our next trip.

My first glimpse of Montenegro

The notion to visit Montenegro was sparked by some friends who had had a holiday there. My travel buddy is extremely well travelled but I knew this would be a new destination for her and when I suggested it, she was keen to visit the Balkan country. 

Montenegro is nestled between Albania and Croatia with a coastline along the Adriatic Sea. Although tiny, it offers mountains, lakes and stunning beaches. A couple of podcasts convinced me that this was somewhere well worth a visit. The allure of a slower rhythm and an escape from the globalisation found in most other countries sealed the deal. 

I loved the idea of not seeing any of the global chains that are usually so difficult to escape from regardless of what country I’m in. A proper break from “the norm”.

Travel as Self Care

Since travel as a family became more difficult, I’ve started travelling with other people - big progress for the girl whose anxiety would previously never have allowed her to be in a different country to her family.

My travel companion

I would love to be able to take trips as a family and I hope for more in the future but I’ve learned to look at this period as an opportunity to do something just for me - an act of self care.

Sometimes your body lets you know that it’s time for a break and mine was certainly doing so in the weeks leading up to this trip. There just seemed to be so much in my head and I felt a bit like I was on a relentless hamster wheel, constantly trying to fight off feelings of tension.

Arriving at Lianne’s the evening before our flight, we set off for a brisk walk and as we walked we shared all that was on each of our minds - there was a lot! It seemed this trip had come around exactly when we both needed it. I think most parents feel a little (or very!) guilty for admitting they need a break but we both admitted we were in need of a few days of just being - being somewhere different, being relaxed, being free. This is something I struggle with at home. Much as I try, I find it very difficult to live at the slower pace I would like to embrace.

Transitioning

The following morning as the plane sped along the runway, I sat back in my seat, gazed out of the window and noticed the lack of tension I usually seem to carry in my body - no tight feeling in my chest, no clenched jaw. As we soared over Europe, I felt relaxed knowing that nothing was expected or needed from me for the next three days. The plane was going to be the only thing that needed to move at speed this week - I was determined to give myself permission to slow down instead of rushing around. The aim was to embrace the notion of slow travel.

The street cats embrace slow living

At home, I’m always aware of what the time is and what I need to get done in various time windows. Usually someone is waiting for me to do something - walk or feed the dog, pick up a teenager, sort laundry, cook meals. I’m happy to do all that but I have to admit, it felt blissful to barely look at my watch while I was away. We woke when we woke, ate when we were hungry, we had no time restrictions whatsoever.

It almost felt that with every hour that passed on that first day, my body relaxed further. Once that happened I could start to indulge in the sheer joy of taking in the sights of a new place.

Budget Break

Learning to travel on a budget has been my passport to accessing my foreign breaks. We were so chuffed with managing to have our break at Lake Como for under £400 last year and, frugal souls that we are, I was set the challenge of planning another trip for a similar amount. I’m pleased to report that this one came in even cheaper. I’ll share a price breakdown at the end of this post.

Travelling light

The flights were with budget airlines and to save money, we travelled with only a carry on bag. Wizz Air cabin bag sizing is even less generous than other budget airlines so although our bags did squeeze (with a little bit of a nudge) into the size checker, there were a few tense moments until we ascertained that staff didn’t seem to be checking any bags. Nonetheless, we did our best to nonchalantly stroll past with our bags on one shoulder, trying to make them look as compact and light as we could!

The car which we had paid £27 for was pretty much what you would expect at that price - nothing flashy but it had four wheels and a steering wheel which was all we really needed.

True Budget Accommodation

Our accommodation

But the accommodation. Well! We couldn’t really complain - we know “you get what you pay for” but let’s just say it was basic. The “kitchen” was a fridge and a 2 ring plug in hob in the corner of the lounge and we didn’t even want to sit on the sofa after observing the multiple stains! Arriving in the dark didn’t help but we did have a brief discussion about whether we could make ourselves stay there for three nights. 

However, we decided to go with it - we were unlikely to find anything reasonably priced so late at night and we were both tired after our 1.45am rise. Despite positive reviews, we knew booking such cheap accommodation meant running the risk of it not being of a particularly high standard. 

The next morning, when we stepped out onto our balcony and took in the panoramic views over the water, the trees, quaint little village and mountains, the shabby furniture and lack of hot water were forgotten. I fell in love with the view from the balcony and, although the apartment itself would never feature on “Home of the Year”, we realised we had landed in one of the most scenic parts of Montenegro - a little village called Stoliv in the Bay of Kotor. We even had our own little jetty from which we could step into the clearest water. 

Chrystal clear water

So despite the ugly (let’s just be frank!) interior, the balcony views and the jetty provided exactly what we had come looking for - a place to breathe and to feel at peace. Spending the early hours of the morning sitting on that balcony taking in the vista, feeling the sun on my skin and listening to the birds felt serene.

Montenegro Moments

Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

There’s something about being away from home that makes me feel more inclined to try different things. The main reason for selecting Montenegro as our destination was to experience a different way of living, somewhere globalisation hasn’t taken over yet. 

Once I had managed to turn down the dial on anxiety, I had the headspace to take on things which it would normally not allow. My internal risk assessments would rule them out no matter how much I wanted to partake.

So having tackled flying solo, leaving the country without my husband or my kids, this trip I left the comfort zone even further behind. Not only did I venture onto a speedboat, I found myself swimming in the sea for the first time in many, many years. And it felt amazing! After the initial relief that I could indeed still swim and wouldn’t require Lianne’s (never yet tested) life saving skills, I was able to relax, basking in the fact that I was spending a Sunday morning bobbing about in the Adriatic sea.

The speedboat excursion brought even more internal conflict. I am not a thrill seeker by any stretch of the imagination but I loved the idea of heading out on the water. I had noticed the lack of life jackets and memories of seasickness on previous boat trips niggled at me. But in keeping with trying to live otherwise, I knew I’d regret not giving it a go so we found one of the shorter trips and hopped onto the wee boat. It took us on a delightful little trip to from the pretty village of Persast to Our Lady of the Rocks, a tiny island church where a wedding was taking place.

On leaving the island we found ourselves sharing our boat with the priest who had just married the couple on the island. We chatted to him about Montenegro, the UK and his thoughts on English football. This seemingly innocuous chat was a special little moment - there’s nothing quite like chatting to a native about their country and gaining a tiny insight into a stranger's life.

Cruising!

Reflections on Montenegro

Montenegro turned out to be the perfect location for this much needed reset. Increasing numbers of tourists are discovering the once hidden gem and the large-scale construction indicates that the country is keen to increase tourism. Yet, parts of it still felt untouched by commercial tourism.

Old Town, Kotor

It seemed to us to be a country of contrast; locals were either extremely friendly or very unfriendly, you could stand at start at the most stunning architecture but then turn your head to be faced with a derelict building, some supermarket products were surprisingly cheap while others were shockingly expensive. While we were excited (I got excited about foreign supermarkets even before I was middle aged!) to explore Montenegro’s supermarket chains, we were quickly disappointed by the poor selection of fruit and vegetables in comparison with other European countries.

Our observations led to some Montenegro research over a bottle of local wine (the wine was very pleasant!) and we learned about the poor health record of the nation, how the terrain limited food production and how not being part of the European Union limited imports.

It struck me that while I was very taken with Montenegro, finding those few things that I didn’t love had prompted us to learn more about the country than we would have had everything been perfect. And what a luxury it was to have time to sit in the evening drinking wine and reading about the country!

Lasting Effect of a Self-Care Break?

We’ve got to be realistic. Getting away for a few days isn’t going to solve all of our problems and it takes no time at all to become sucked up in life and all its complications again. However, having filled my cup back up, it feels more manageable to take it all on again.

Stepping away from my daily life allowed me the chance to gather perspective; to think about the life I want, the progress I’m making towards that and what I needed to focus on once I returned home.

Keeping In Touch

Even though I was physically away from my family, I liked being able to check in with calls and messages and share photos from my trip. It was reassuring to know they were surviving just fine without me — and I hope it gently reinforced the idea that this break was about self-care, not escaping my family.

Take a Break

A calm evening on the balcony

I do know just how difficult it can be for parents and carers to allow themselves to take the breaks they need - even when practicalities allow it. But I’ve learned that breaks, in whatever form your circumstances will allow, are essential self care. It really is impossible to pour from an empty cup. 

There are times - I’ve had them - when even five minutes of respite can feel out of reach. Those times are hard but they can’t last forever. When I’m in one of these spells, remembering past breaks or imagining future ones is a sanity saver.

It’s so much easier to give all you’ve got when you know that you will at least get a chance to recharge now and again. Sometimes the most generous thing we can do for others is to return to ourselves for a while. You deserve a break. You matter.

Here’s How I Managed This Break For £363:

Edinburgh to Gatwick return flight - £89

Gatwick to Podgorica - £94

3 nights accommodation - £35

Car hire and petrol -  £25

Spending (food, drink, boat trip) - £120

TOTAL - £363

Further savings could have been made if I’d got myself organised and booked my Edinburgh - Gatwick flights sooner. I could also have saved around £35 if I had given up my window seat on each flight - but I’m not going to do that, staring out at the view from the window of a plane is too much of a treat! 

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